In a veterinarian's waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"

Door of a plastic surgeon's office: "Hello. Can we pick your nose?"

On a Plumbers truck:  "We repair what your husband fixed."

Pizza shop slogan: "7 days without pizza makes one weak."

At an optometrist's office:  "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."

In a restaurant window: "Don't stand there and be hungry. Come on in and get fed up."